A Breath Of Fresh Air
by Ventisquear
Summary: Cheeky Monkey 'Hypocricy' Challenge... Is Airam rally possessed, like Wynne suspects?


Written for the Cheeky Monkey "Hypocricy" challenge: Take a character from your current story and make them act in a way completely contrary to their personality or beliefs. So here goes - my sweet, shy Airam Surana from _**Failed to Fail**_ turned into... well, you'll see. :D

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><p><strong>A Breath Of Fresh Air<strong>

It started in the early morning, when they all got up for their regular trainings. Airam came out of his tent, yawning and stretching – and wearing only his breeches.

"I had the funniest dream ever. There was this sexy girl –"

That was where they made the first mistake – they didn't listen. They were too busy staring at him, as he took his towel and went to the lake, whistling the dirtiest of Oghren's songs.

"That had to be quite a dream. Aren't you jealous, Zev?"

"Ah, my dear Alistair, on the contrary – but I do want to know now if the dreams could be repeated and shared. Perhaps I should ask Wynne, yes?"

Alistair just opened his mouth to reply when they heard angry shouts from the lake; a moment later, Morrigan stormed in the camp, followed by highly amused and little bit embarrassed Leliana.

"Airam called her 'feisty little raven'," she explained when she noticed their questioning looks. "She tried to drown him, but sadly, it didn't work."

"_Sadly_?"

"You _don't_ want to hear what he called _me_."

And with that she disappeared in her tent, leaving them staring at each other, totally dumbfounded.

oOo

It got worse during the day. Sten started to recite some monotonous litany after Airam told him – no, after he _purred_ - that he liked strong, silent men… a mystery to uncover.

Alistair almost jumped on his own sword, when Airam pinched his butt in the middle of sparring, saying that perhaps they could hop the borders together.

Shale demolished half of the camp after the compliment that she was really great bird, for a golem.

Oghren was furious when he found out his strongest brew was missing – but then he saw the crazy kid drinking it as if it was just weak tea; he was sulking ever since.

Wynne was left speechless – well, at least some positive effect – when Airam loudly complained that all his books were so boring, no naughty pictures at all, just a lot of irksome spells.

And now Bodahn came, asking Wynne if she could please keep Messere Warden away from Sandal for a while, the boy was terribly upset.

They discussed it on the way to Denerim. Airam either didn't hear or didn't care – or perhaps was too amused to stop it.

"Let me point out that the only one who was left alone so far – besides Rask, but he doesn't count, he's a mabari – is the assassin. I think it is very suspicious. It may be some secret poison."

"Assuming I would wish to poison my favourite Warden – which I do not, needless to say – why would I choose such… preposterous poison?"

"How should I know? Perhaps you want to ridicule us before we die?"

"Oh? So this poison can contaminate also the other people who talk to the victim?"

"Zevran, Alistair. Now is not the time for your bickering. The poor child is clearly possessed." Wynne's attempt to calm them down was completely ignored.

"I think Air just suffered brain damage. 'Tis what happens when you stay around the wannabe Templars for too long."

"Yes, _thank you_, Morrigan, but everyone already knows your opinion on me –"

"So demons like a proper brew? Heheheh. It did seem strange that such a sissy could drink it like that –"

"Just because you are walking brewery, dwarf, it doesn't mean you can insult –"

"_Paarshara_." Sten sounded positively annoyed, and that was always dangerous. "Arguing is useless. We need to find out if the mage became abomination."

They continued like this for a long while, but they didn't find any solution, except that when in Denerim, Wynne will consult this precarious situation with some of the mages there.

oOo

And it reached its peak when they finally reached Denerim in the late afternoon. They were thrown out of three inns, before they even had a chance to rent the room, because Airam couldn't keep his eyes – and hands – not only from maids, daughters and wives, but also from the innkeepers themselves. Winking, batting his eyes, and telling the worst jokes ever – his beloved little Warden behaved like a total idiot.

Was this how Airam and the others saw _him_? It was rather unnerving thought.

When they reached the forth inn, they ordered Airam to wait outside. He pouted, even tried the puppy eyes, but when they didn't relent, he agreed to wait there until they called him.

It was only as they were sitting down to have dinner, almost an hour later, when he suddenly realised they didn't call him in. And knowing his little Warden, he was probably broken and reduced to tears by now. He jumped up and bolted out of the room, ignoring shocked yelps of the others, as they, too, realised what happened.

But Airam was not outside the inn.

Feeling guilty and embarrassed, they spent rest of the evening looking for the crazy kid. And that was when they made the second mistake. They assumed that in his current state he was most likely in a brothel or a night-club.

While he was simply in the Wonders of Thedas, as it turned out.

"I went to buy some new robes. Mine are all so… _outdated_," was the only explanation they got. And a wink. It didn't sound good… and it wasn't.

A pair of very tight black leggings, that left very little to imagination, and a short dark red wrap tunic with deep cleavage. Oh, it would look marvellous… if Airam worked in the Pearl.

"You're _not_ going to wear those," he said in commanding voice, but Airam just laughed.

"Of course I am. We are going to the party, so – "

"What party?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Bann Reginalda is giving the party and we're all invited."

"You're not going anywhere."

"I so love when you're jealous," Airam chuckled and pecked him on a cheek.

"Jealous? Me? Perish the thought. I am just concerned for your reputation." He tried hard not to show the satisfied grin. Even if the little Warden wasn't himself right now… it was still nice.

"Who cares about reputation? Let's have some fun. It will only last few more hours. I don't understand why are you all so boring today."

Needless to say they didn't go anywhere. Leliana went to give their excuses to the Bann, while he, Alistair and Morrigan stayed with Airam, playing card games and bearing his idiotic jokes until they were all so tired they couldn't keep their eyes open. Even then they didn't want to risk anything and locked the room behind them.

As he went to his own room he prayed the Maker to turn his boy back to normal tomorrow.

oOo

"_So how was your day?"_

"_Absolutely fantastic! Yours?"_

"_Same. I didn't have such fun for years. They think I must be an abomination or mad."_

"_Ahaha… sorry for that. Mine were actually pleased. Especially my brother. He said I was much more bearable today."_

"_We must do this character swap again, sometimes."_

"_I agree. You know, I never thought learning could be fun. I even bought a real book today."_

"_I bought robes… but I don't think I'll ever wear them. Not as my normal self."_

"_I have to go… __well, you know where to find me. Come visit me sometimes."_

"_It will be my pleasure.__"_

"_Good night, Airam."_

"_Good night, Hawke."_


End file.
